The Problem (with Being Yourself)
by EternalRulerOfTheSunrise
Summary: GenQueer!JIM Jim enlists in starfleet and rooms with Bones, the only one to know the secret Jim isn't willing to share with the rest of their peers. struggling with who he is and how it conflicts with what he is, Bones tries to help to the best of his abilities.
1. Chapter 1

**A bit of a warning. GenderQueer!Jim!BioFem. If you've got a problem with it, I'm sorry, I'm doing my best. Basically Just a recap of the first little bit of the Reboot. Enjoy.**

"Another!" Jim called to the bartender, holding out his hand for the drink sliding across the countertop. He caught it and pressed the cool glass to his lips, feeling a bit more of his stress melt away. In the community of Riverside he was known as the Man-Woman, called a he-she by children who heard from their parents what he was, and some more creative names by his coworkers at the shop.

He glanced up as the red uniforms began flooding the bar. Most of them were guys; bulky fellows who travelled in packs, probably training to be security. There were a few ladies; a mocha skinned girl and her green friend caught his eye. There was really no reason to hit on them, not with the reputation he already had and the fact that most of the people in the bar already knew he was biologically female. Even after changing his gender legally on his identification people would not acknowledge that he was a man, not a woman.

The fighting he'd done in his younger years came back with a vengeance. All that anger he'd felt as a child followed him easily into adulthood; flourishing under the scrutiny of his peers. He groaned, downing his drink and ordering another, then another, and another. Next he knew he was laid across a table getting his face punched in by a guy he vaguely recognized as 'cupcake'.

He groaned, trying to lean forward enough to shove the guy off only to be hit once more. A woman was yelling for them to stop, but it didn't seem to affect them. The pain wasn't as bad as it had been. His face throbbed with small shooting pains, as did the rest of his body, but no longer was he feeling the sharp punches that were threatening to break his nose, jaw and cheekbones. His eye-sight began to darken and already blurry figures were turning into blobs of red and black.

A screeching sound pierced through the dark haze of unconsciousness. Jim felt his head and vision clear a little and blinked a few times to speed the process along. "You whistle really loud, you know that?" he said, somewhat incoherently.

The graying man tilted his head to get a better look at the young man lain across the table with blood dripping down his face. He smirked a little, and for a moment Jim blacked out.

A sharp tug woke him. The salt and pepper haired man took the chair across from him as the bartender sat a drink down on the table. The strong scent of coffee wafted up to his nose, whether it was for the man or not he didn't care; he took the cup and brought it to his lips, gingerly sipping the scalding beverage.

"You know," the man began. "I couldn't believe it when the Bartender told me who you were."

Jim sniffed a little, stuffing a napkin up his nose. "And just who am I…"

"Captain Christopher Pike." The man stated. "You're definitely your fathers' son."

He smiled bitterly into the coffee; the guy bartending was nice enough but he wouldn't give up the chance to rat Jim out, like the rest of the community. Pike knew, he was sure of that. He wanted to say something smart, but the man continued, smiling warmly as he recounted his dissertation and what he seemed to admire about George Kirk.

Jim mumbled a little but Pike was quickly on him, contradicting the remark about his father having learned his lesson in no-win scenarios. The young man didn't want to admit it, but hearing how much like his father he was made his heart warm. Uncle Frank, his mother's boyfriend, had raised him for the most part and only had negative things to say about the Kirk family and his mother never liked to remember or tell them about the young commander.

"…Those cadets you took on won't make it passed officers. You can bet your ass the first time they find themselves on the wrong end of a Klingon phaser cannon they'll be running home to momma." Pike laced his finger together and leaned forward, preparing to continue.

The words seemed suspicious, as tingly as they made him feel. No one was so nice without reasons. So before the Captain could speak Jim blurted out, "So why are you talking to me?"

Pike leaned back in his chair, a little surprised. James T. Kirk was not going to be easy to convince. "I pulled up your records when you were drooling on the floor. Your aptitude tests are off the charts—d'you like being the only, genius level, repeat offender in the Midwest?"

Jim scoffed. "Maybe I love it."

The captain leaned forward in his chair, again, daring to get in Jims face. "So, daddy dies and you settle for a less than ordinary life? Or is it that you feel like you're meant for something better—Something special?"

The younger man felt his face go blank. He'd always felt that he was made from some other kind of mold than the rest of his peers; but being told that he would amount to nothing for most of his life did a number. He was angry. How could Pike possibly have known what he was feeling? Was it a shot in the dark? It must have been; Pike didn't even know who he was until the bartender told him.

"Enlist in Starfleet." Pike said. "If you're half the man your father was we could use you…You could be an officer in four years, have your own ship in eight!"

"Are we done?" Jim snapped, standing abruptly. Pike was under his skin, making him feel discontent in a way he hadn't felt since before Frank was out of the picture. He brushed by the Captain, keeping his eyes forward to avoid anymore questioning.

Pike grabbed the blonde's shoulder before he could leave. "Riverside Ship yard, the shuttle for new recruits leaves at 0800." He paused for a moment, contemplating. "You know…Your father was Captain of a StarShip for twelve minutes. He saved 800 people including you and your mom…I dare you to do better."

Jim felt the anger in his chest rise as his eyes locked with Pikes. It was the biggest challenge he'd been given in years, and even with Pike finally out of his hair he couldn't help the burning passion he felt. He would prove the man wrong.

The next morning found Jim speeding down the deserted roads around the shipyard. It was nearly time for the shuttle to depart. If he didn't make it Riverside would never let him hear the end of it. He kicked the motorcycle into action. The buzz of the electric engine cranked up into a dull roar, propelling him 90mph down the highway. He'd be damned if that shuttle left without him.

It seemed like only seconds had passed when he arrived at 8:05. The ship should have been gone, but there stood Pike, clearly having held out to see if he was going to arrive or not. Jim tossed his keys into his helmet and handed it to the first passing worker he saw.

The Captain seemed almost elated.

"Four years, huh?" Jim said as he passed. "I'll do it in three."

Pike didn't say anything; he just grinned and continued to the cockpit.

Jim ducked under a low clearance area and sank into the first available seat. 'Cupcake' was only a few seats down, nursing a bandaged hand but looking ready to fight again as he realized Jim was buckling in. "At ease," he said, with a mocking salute.

The pretty, mocha skinned, girl from the bar smirked a little as he realized she was just adjacent to him. "Never did get your name." He said with a wink.

She snorted, with a small smile. "And you're not going to either."

"Ouch," Jim began. A ruckus began to the left of him, cutting off his thoughts. For a moment he thought the cadets might have been coming for him again and was almost relieved to see a flight attendant dragging a frazzled looking man down the aisles. The older man was shoved into the seat next to him and thoroughly threatened; shutting him up just long enough for the woman to leave their direct sight.

"You know, I think these shuttles are pretty safe." Jim said, trying to help calm the man.

The weary man struck at him like a snake; his Southern drawl thick from his apparent drunkenness. "Don't pander to me kid! One crack in the hull and our blood boils in thirteen seconds—a solar flare could cook us up right in our seats! Hell some of the passengers are blue—wait until you're sitting pretty with a case of Andorian Shingles and see if you're so relaxed when your eyeballs are bleeding! Space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness!"

Jim swallowed apprehensively. "I hate to break it to you, but Starfleet operates in space."

The man sneered and tugged a flask out of his pocket. "Yeah well, the ex-wife took the whole god-damn planet in the divorce. I got nowhere to go but up." He eyed Jim appraisingly and handed him the flask. "Names Leonard McCoy."

"Jim Kirk." He answered, taking a short swig. "You look like you're going to throw up."

"I might."

**00o00o0000o00o00**

**Short first chapter, pretty much recapping the first little bit of the StarTrek Reboot with a few changes. #1 being that Jim is gender Queer. Born biologically female, but identifying as a man. I've never read this in a fic, so I thought I'd write one. I've read intersexJim, but never gender queer. **

**Personally, I'm not 100% sure I'm writing this in a way that many people will appreciate, but I'm trying. We're all going to view it differently, so I don't expect man people to like it. But I felt it was something that was going ignored. **

**So if anyone has some suggestions I'm open to them.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for keeping with me so far**.

.

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Jim dropped his bag on to the small, twin, bed. The room wasn't big, 15x15 at most, but he wasn't picky and things appeared to be shipshape. The beds were made, dressers were placed on the walls opposite of the beds, and the room came equipped with a private bathroom. It was fantastic to have a personal shower; having been placed in the boys' dormitory he didn't want risk showing off his female genitalia to the whole male population of StarFleet. It would be bad enough if he ran into someone he knew from Riverside.

He was positive Pike had something to do with it. The man struck him as a sneak, though not necessarily in a bad way. He was just surprisingly slick. Jim wasn't sure but the Captain could have had more power than just being his academic-advisor while the Enterprise was still being built. Pike didn't seem the type to take on students. Perhaps it was because of George Kirk that the man had taken him on, or maybe he just needed something to occupy his free time. Either way Jim couldn't complain, he was set.

The familiar hiss of a pneumatic door alerted him that his mysterious roommate had finally arrived. There was an audible groan and Jim spun around with a grin stretched across his face. "Bones!"

"Good lord, what did I do to deserve being stuck with you; and quit callin' me Bones!" The southern man snapped.

"Whatever you say Bones." Jim smile faded, but a smirk remained.

The man grunted, tossing his duffle bag down next to the free bed. He sat down, facing Jim just as the blonde began to unzip his bag. "So, how did you make it into an all male dormitory?"

Jim felt the heat rise in his face and refused to look up. "What do you mean by that?"

Bones rolled his eyes. "I'm a doctor, kid. I know a girl when I see one. I guess it doesn't matter whatcha are in the long run, just as long as you don't go bringin' your dates back to the room." Bones grunted, leaning over to unzip is own bag. He dug out his toiletries and took them to the bathroom.

"I identify as a gender male." Jim said loud enough for the man to hear. "I have female reproductive organs and everything. I'm just a guy and people wouldn't treat me like one if I went to the girls' dorm."

"So you got your I.D. changed and everything?" Bones asked from the bathroom.

"Yeah, my shrink approved it about a year ago."

Bones didn't say anything as he returned. He merely nodded his head and continued unpacking, prompting Jim to do the same. The night was spent in amiable silence. Occasionally Jim felt the need to say something that would annoy the Doctor, testing his limits; but overall the company was pleasant. Jim, Bones learned, was a genius and placed in the top three percent for command track. His future captaincy was basically ensured. He also learned, within the first hour of sharing a dorm with the man, that Jim was allergic to _everything_. Simply sitting on the bed had broken him out in hives.

Despite the drama of the evening it was waking up the next morning that was the unpleasant part. Bones was up at the crack of dawn, tired and irate since Jim snored him awake several times during the night. If the man hadn't openly admitted to his female sexual gender he would have had to retract his statement from the night before and admit that he clearly couldn't tell xy from xx; though that would be a perfect reason for how he'd ended up married to the devil.

Bones looked over at his roommate who was wrapped around a coverless pillow with no sheets or blankets since they'd gone to be rewashed so late. He debated waking him up, Jim probably wouldn't eat on his own and if he did it would be in a rush, and who knows what kind of trouble he could get into then. He eventually elected for a shower before waking the other.

He sighed, pleasantly relaxed under the streams of hot water. So, his roommate was genetically speaking, a female; he could honestly say he never saw that coming. When he enlisted, he expected his roommate to be some youngin', some a kid with a basic degree, little sense, and mounds of naivety. Bones honestly had no idea how to handle the situation; he could deal with this clinically, but otherwise he was a man, and was raised with the belief that it was improper for a man and woman to live together before marriage, gender identity be damned. It was easy to refer to him as a man, but harder than hell to actually think of him as one.

He wanted to slam his head against the wall as he rinsed the soap from his hair and body, shutting off the water and grabbing a towel. "Damn it," he said, grumbling. He didn't grab any clothes before entering the bath. It was still early though, so Jim was probably still asleep. Bones wrapped the towel tightly around his waist, gipping it tightly, as he approached the door.

Bones instantly felt his mouth go dry. Jim was standing by his dresser clad in only boxer briefs and despite his well-built core and muscles all Bones could focus on was the elegant curve of his back. His face flushed as he quickly locked the bathroom door.

"Bones!" He heard the call through the door and fought back a groan. There was no way he was going out there while that idiot was naked. "Damn it Bones, come out of there, I'd like to shower too you know!"

"No!" He yelled back. "Not until you put on some clothes!"

"And I'm not putting on clean clothes until I've showered!" The shouts got louder as Jim drew closer to the door. "Now stop being a narrow minded ass, it's not like I have anything for you to ogle anyhow."

"And how do you know I wouldn't act like this around another man!" Bones huffed, hoping his bluff would work. It was quiet on the other side of the door and he could finally feel his pulse calming. Maybe Jim was putting on a shirt at least. Seconds later Bones was sprawled out on the floor. Jim stood next to him with the panel next to the door removed and a series of wires hanging out.

"You know it's much faster if you just close your eyes than run back into the bathroom." Jim said.

Bones tried to avert his eyes, but they quickly traveled to the bare chest of the man next to him. He didn't have breasts? Not in the feminine sense. In fact his pectorals were just as well developed as his core. Again he found himself feeling strange about the situation. Again he felt that if Jim hadn't told him he would have been retracting his statement and apologizing for making assumptions about Jims' biological sex. So he had a pretty face and slender body, that didn't mean anything. There were plenty of other men out in the world that looked similar.

"Bones, get up, I need to shower." Jim said, stepping over the body. He sighed as the gentleman scrambled out of the doorway, barely keeping his towel up. Maybe Jim should have continued playing dumb, but that could have caused problems later. It shouldn't have, but it would.

Jim showered in record time, dressing in the required red uniform, but not before stepping out of the bathroom in nothing but his underwear again to watch his roommate squirm under the guise of having forgotten something. Today he'd be mapping out his classes before they started so he'd know specifically where and the fastest ways to go. He supposed it really didn't matter, there were maps all over to assist the freshmen, but it made him feel better; and he REALLY wanted to check out the library.

The Doctor scowled further, Jim was a morning person—god help him—and appeared dead set on smiling at every possible second. For the dower man it only served as a current for stirring the raging pool of sarcasm and vitriol that filled him.

"You comin'?" Jim questioned brightly, pretending not to notice the discomfort on his roommates face as he tried to clasp the collar of the uniform.

"Yeah, yeah," Bones grabbed his bag, and Jim's. "Let's go eat before you start draggin' me all over the place."

0o0o0o0

**Yooo, it's be years or something hasn't it. Anyhow, I'm gonna be straight up, I have a habit of using ridiculous amounts of deal and getting myself burnt out, so I'm going to average these chapters around 1500 words and keep them fairly quick paced. …I'm still inexperienced with writing gender queer characters, so if you see something that might be not good, lemme know. (still also a little displeased at the lack of Gender Queer ST stories.)**


	3. Chapter 3

**once i get a more 'Mature' area of the story I'll start posting on AO3 to avoid having the story removed...Thank you everyone that took the time to message me with that concern.**

**.**

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Weeks passed with little disturbance, besides the ones that Jim had caused, and finally he was situating himself into the new and stable life. He and Bones shared a few of the basic introductory courses, but that would only last for a short while.

The Doctor was of course taking refreshers on specific medical practices and a few extras on, specialized, xenobiology and Jim was on the Command track so the two would rarely have a shared class after the semester ended. Not that it was particularly important. Bones was still uncomfortable around Jim, though not as much as he'd been that first night, and did well to close his eyes every time he exited the shower in the mornings.

It could be significantly worse, and it was the man's way of coping with a situation he didn't fully understand, so Jim didn't reprimand him often; only when he was being particularly obtuse. Jim liked to think that they'd grown closer as roommates; they certainly spent plenty of time together in the room in comfortable silence, but whenever Jim tried to invite him out he was turned down. Understandably, the man was probably working very hard, probably also trying to come to terms with the fact that he would be working in space most likely but it still would have been nice to share a meal together now and then. They hadn't since that first day.

No matter though, Jim buried himself in his textbooks, pushing the reading glasses further up his nose as he leaned closer to the tablet. It just would have been nice to be friends with his roommate.

"Mind if I sit?" A feminine voice asked.

"Hmm?" Jim looked up. She was lovely; green skinned with beautiful red hair that hung is tight curls around her face. He must have turned pink because she grinned. "Go ahead."

"I'm Gaila," She said, offering a hand.

Jim took the hand and smiled brightly. "Jim." He said. "Your hair is beautiful, is that natural?"

Her cheeks became a deep emerald as she glanced away nodding. "It's a rare mutation among Orion people. What is your track?"

"Command," Jim said, setting down his tablet. "You're…not a first year are you?"

The woman shook her head, curls bouncing in all directions. "Nope, second. I'm in engineering."

Jim's smile widened. "First year command." He said. "I'll have second year credits soon enough."

She looked at him curiously and nodded for him to continue. "I'm challenging the theory courses in my track." He groaned a little, slouching. "Most of the courses require long, thoroughly researched papers as well as a 90% score on the exam in order to be exempt from attending."

The woman giggled. "Well, we are technically military, and operating in space. It would be unfortunate if someone managed to challenge the course, pass, and not fully understand the importance of the class."

"Yeah, s'why I haven't complained too much." Jim continued to smile and reach forward, grabbing Gaila's hand gently. "If they keep bothering you feel free to come and find me."

Gaila's dark eyes widened. "I'm sorry." She said suddenly. "You just…You felt nonthreatening…I'll go."

Jim released her hand. "You don't have to. I'm not exactly getting along with my roommate, or classmates, so I wouldn't mind the company."

Her green skin darkened again. "I was on my way to get dinner when I came here." She said. "I was being followed, so I thought the library might be safe…Come with me?"

Jim could feel his demeanor brighten. He did well to always keep a smile on his face no matter what his mood, but he felt genuinely happy that the beautiful, and seemingly well spoken, woman would invite him along. The walk to the mess hall was slow and sedate. The two chatted about the mechanics of a starship's core, the latest technological advances, and why they joined the Fleet. Unlike Jim's anticlimactic and simple answer of 'It was a dare', Gaila revealed that she had once been a slave, rescued, and wanted to do something that would help others as Starfleet had helped her.

Jim's hearted melted a little. She was still building her self-confidence, but he could see a force to be reckoned with inside of her, just waiting to be unleashed. She looped their arms and leaned in smiling. Much of dinner followed the same conversation as on the way to. Jim went into a little more depth about his reason for accepting Pike's challenge, and how could he not after such a heartfelt reason from his new friend. After living in the shadow of a dead man for so long, the challenge to do better, was more like saying 'do more, and overcome the shadow'.

A few of Gaila's friends from the woman's dorm sat around them, joking with the green woman and occasionally asking if Jim was going to be her new man. Jim waggled his eyebrows at her and winked. They were done eating though, and left soon after with Jim offering in front of the group if he could walk Gaila back to the dorm entrance.

"So, the reason you don't get along with your roommate, is it because he found out?" She asked as they exited the cafeteria, picking up on the conversation from where it had been interrupted and frowning as Jim stiffened. "I'm sorry, I over stepped my boundaries. We Orion…Have a sense for these things…Sorry."

Jim just shook his head. "You don't have to apologize. Just, don't tell anyone okay? But yeah, I'm pretty sure that's the reason I'm not getting along with him." He sighed, patting Gaila's hand. "It's probably my own fault. He was dealing with it fine the first few days, but I kept teasing him."

"You could apologize?" She suggested with a smile. "It never hurts to try."

Returning the smile in full, Jim nodded and released Gaila from his grips. "That's true." He said, bowing. "Well, Mi'Lady, thank you for allowing me the honor or escorting you to your abode. I do hope you rest with ease."

"Why thank you," She said, giggling. "I would find it suitable, and enjoyable, if we could perhaps do this again in the future. Perhaps tomorrow after class we shall encounter one another in the library."

"What was that?" Jim laughed.

"I thought we were imitating Vulcan's." She said, grinning despite herself.

"I'm so introducing you to period dramas." Jim declared. "Next time we both have a full day off expect me, a lot of junk food and a ton of vids."

Gaila saluted, and pecked him on the cheek. "See you tomorrow then."

He stayed until she was inside and out of sight before moving on. Jim was sure she was aware of it, though perhaps not, but they'd been followed to the dormitories. Jim made sure to keep to the sidewalks and pathways with people still wandering on them. It wasn't terribly late, only about 9pm, so there were still people rushing to get dinner and heading off the campus for a drink or something similar. His mistake occurred when he stepped onto the grassy patch on the backside of his own dorm rather than walking around.

There was a massive blind spot here, he knew, and often cut through in the mornings to get to breakfast more quickly. Several others did the same, but at night it was vacant, and posed a potential hazard to anyone who dared walk through. Jim knew this, and slipped up.

Three male figures caught up to him quickly, shoving him into the grass. Jim jumped back up, but before he could speak the three were already balling the fists and lashing out with knees and elbows. Jim didn't make a sound beyond the occasional grunt or groan from being hit particularly hard, but the others did. One man he'd broken the nose of with strong head-butt, another would likely have a fractured bone in his foot, and the last had broken several knuckles against Jim's cheekbone.

Jim took the most damage; he was bleeding and ached all over, but he could move as the three left and grinned bitterly, and painfully, as he clenched the identification tags he'd snagged off them. His vision blurred slightly as dizziness came over him. He would probably be fine after sleeping though, god that's all he wanted to do at the moment.

"Cadet," A stern voice echoed behind him. "Three of your peers have indicated that you were highly inebriated and had become injured after belligerently forcing them to leave. They informed me that you had fallen down several times."

Jim clutched his head and snorted. "They sporting a broken nose, fingers, and a limp?"

"Indeed." The voice informed. "I will assist you to the medical center."

"No need," Jim said, straightening up as best he could. He held out the id's. "I'm James T. Kirk. Those three have been stalking and harassing an Orion Cadet, second year engineering route, Gaila, I believe and didn't like that I walked her back to her dorm tonight. If you need further proof I'll be available tomorrow. Right now I just need to sleep."

"I must insist," The dark blur shifted closer. Jim shook his head to try and clear away the fuzz, but only ended up stumbling in the process. Moments later darkness invaded his vision and he completely collapsed.


	4. Chapter 4

Jim wasn't entirely sure what occurred after, he remembered insisting that he was fine, or would be after getting some rest and a shower, but when he woke up the area around him was bright, a sharp pain caused him to hiss, and there was an annoying hum in his ear.

"It was only a mild concussion, but it looks like he's going to be alright." Oh that voice was familiar.

"That is…fortunate." That stern voice again.

Jim groaned and laughed a little at the hiss of 'idiot'. "Hey Bones."

"Don't you 'Hey' me!" The man snapped. "Do you know how lucky you are that I was here tonight? I walked in to some, wet behind the ears, resident trying to shoot you up with a Codeine monstrosity! You could have died!"

"Wouldn't be the first time." Again Jim laughed, closing his eyes against the bright lights, and cringing slightly afterwards; even to his own ears his voice sounded painful. "So what's my diagnosis?"

He heard the man huff. "You're lucky nothing is broken. Your ribs are bruised, you have an orbital fracture, and your lip was split—took care of that a few minutes ago—you'll be outta here before mornin'." There was a clack next to him, presumably the sound of his chart being dropped on a table. "So you gonna tell me just what happened?"

"Met a girl in the library trying to hide from some guys, we ate dinner, then I walked her to her dorm. The guys jumped me when I passed between 600A and 700B." Jim said listening as the humming decreased and seemed to travel lower.

"Did it ever occur to you NOT to interfere?" Bones sniped.

"Did it ever occur to YOU that I might be a decent human capable of experiencing emotions and empathy?" Jim snapped in return, opening his eyes enough that he could make out the still present dark figure just over the doctor's shoulder. He sighed, forcibly relaxing. "It's not easy to ask for or accept help when people have preconceived notions about you, Bones."

There was silence for a moment. "Hey, official guy," Jim said. "You want a statement before I pass back out?"

"Oh, Hell no, you're not sleepin'till we know for sure your brain isn't going to turn to mush." Bones snapped.

"You said I was fine!" Jim whined.

"You're still under observation, idiot!"

"I will send the proper authorities to retrieve Cadet Kirk's statement tomorrow."

"Thanks," Bones said over his shoulder, paying little mind to the man. "Jim, you need to be more careful in the future."

Jim scoffed, fully shutting his eyes once more. What did he care anyhow? That wasn't fair though was it? It wasn't Bones' fault that Jim was…weird; and the man was, while apprehensive, respectful of the fact that Jim was a man despite his genitalia. That was more than Jim could say about the people back home. Sure the younger ones were cool with it, but his own age group and the older adults tended to avoid him unless they were satisfying their own curiosity.

The sound of footsteps and the thud of a closing door gave Jim the impression he was alone. He sighed, relaxing and allowing a frown to slip onto his face. He might cry if he thought he could without leaving evidence, but his face had a propensity for becoming particularly puffy. Jim scrubbed his eyes with his palms, slowly opening them in hopes of possibly finding water somewhere in the room.

Bones raised his eyebrows at him and plopped himself on the foot of the bed. "You're a fuckin' genius." He said slowly. "So I know I don't need to explain sexual dimorphism to you, but, even though you're a man mentally, you're muscles aren't as dense as the others. Fighting with three biologically gendered men is nearly a deadwish."

Jim glared.

"Don't give me that look." The doctor said with a growl. "You're my friend, and, my roommate. Naturally I'm going to worry about you, especially since you're allergic to everything. I damn near threw that resident across the room when I saw the hypo he was about to shoot you up with." He paused for a moment and bit his cheek. "Have you thought about hormones? That would increase you muscle mass, at least some, though it would come with a slew of other issues."

Jim stared up at the ceiling. Bones was being awkward again, but somehow Jim didn't mind this time. He was trying and that was a good thing right? It was true. Because Jim was genetically female he would have a disadvantage in physical altercations, at least when there was no strategy employed. So he knew that there was no logical reason to be irritated by Bones' factual statement but that didn't stop him; though his emotions were dampened by his acknowledgement of the truth.

He smirked a little. Bones was still sitting awkwardly. He was trying his best to be inoffensive, though the fact that he thought Jim might be so easily offended was more off putting than anything that might be unintentionally hurtful. Jim pushed himself up into a sitting position.

"Bones, I don't need hormone treatment. I'm perfectly happy with the body I have." The doctor heaved a sigh at those words. "No dysphoria or anything."

"How did you know?" Bones asked and instantly regretted it. His ears burned with embarrassment. "Sorry, you don't have to answer that."

"Bones!" Jim snapped. "Stop that. I'm not going to attack you for being curious. Just treat me the same as you would treat anyone else, and stop avoiding me. I'm more concerned that my roommate can barely talk to me for five minutes unless I'm being confined to a biobed."

The doctor stood. "You thought I was avoiding you?" He asked.

"Well, yeah, you've turned down all my invitations to have meals together since day two."

Bones actually laughed. "You're not the only one challenging your courses, kid. Not all of us have super functioning brains though and have to spend more than a few hours doing self-study." He ruffled his hair. "You complained that we only had the basic classes together, so I thought I'd try to get a few out of the way so we could have more free time later on."

The doctor was relieved. He didn't know how Jim would take his questioning. This was still way out of his norm, but he could probably adapt much easier knowing that Jim wasn't going to chew him out for making a mistake. Bones supposed he should have already known that. Jim had corrected him on a few occasions, never with any amount of vitriol but rather with a calm demeanor and the same manner professors used when introducing their students to delicate subjects.

"Aren't you going to get in trouble for hanging out in my room?" Jim asked.

Bones glanced at the wall clock, "Nope, off duty now." He did need to go make it clear though and sign out. "I'm definitely not leaving you alone with these quacks though. God knows what they'd remove from you...or add."

Jim laughed. "Hey, Bones." He said. "I knew when I kept forgetting that I was a supposed to be a girl."

The doctor reddened. "Right…That's informative."

"I mean, that I kept thinking I was a boy, and I would get really confused when I remembered I wasn't." Jim pushed on, enjoying the way his friend's blush continued to grow darker and darker. "The first time I can really remember, it was my birthday and mom couldn't even look at me, and I remember thinking 'when I'm a dad, I'll never leave behind my kids with a parent like this'. Then I realized that I couldn't be a dad because I was supposed to be a mom. And after that I started becoming more aware of it until I realized why."

Bones was glowing red as he nodded his head. "Right…Um, I have to go properly sign out…..I'll be right back…." He said quickly. God, he didn't expect Jim to actually answer him, not like that. He hoped he hadn't crosses any lines in asking. He groaned slightly, rubbing his neck as he approached the console and logged his hours.


End file.
